The magic of checking in.

Having my own business and doing something that's ... oh, impossible to explain ... left me feeling isolated after a couple of years. Some kind of local support group was out because, well, I'd have to actually leave the house.

But -- having people to check in with? That is absolutely magic.

Sounds too simple to make much of a difference?

Believe me --

• when you feel like you have 88 million things to do and OMG none of it's getting done;

• when you're putting off the thing that secretly terrifies you;

• when you're having a meltdown and wondering if stuffing envelopes for a living is a viable alternative

 -- knowing that there are people who get what you do, and can listen and witness -- it makes a huge difference.
 
Huge.

Here's what I do right now to stay sane and keep moving forward:

• Check in online with the super smart and caring people at the Kitchen Table. There's a forum called the Deguiltified Chicken Board (chicken = check in -- get it?) where we post the stuff we want to do -- could be a to-do list for the day, or steps in a project, or what you'd like to get done in the next 15 minutes. Whatever.

How is this different from simply writing a list for yourself?

Somehow, putting it out there for supportive friends to witness or cheer you on creates some kind of special magic that helps you actually do the stuff you want to do. Or notice what's going on when you're not doing it.

• Check in weekly by phone with a fantastic friend who's also a small business owner. When worries about complete and utter doom start to surface, we can be each other's reality check. We each have the distance to see paths and options that are invisible to the other person. And we can say, that thing I said I'd do last week? Well, it's not done but here's the progress I have made.

• Check in monthly by phone with a small group. Our businesses are different, but we're all on the same page in terms of our approach. We get each other, and each other's work. A supportive, yet objective perspective is just what you need sometimes. At other times, you need people to help you celebrate the tiny victories.

-----------------------------

If you work for yourself in some capacity -- if you're an artist, a designer, a creative small business owner -- you can find yourself lost in details, overwhelmed by urgent deadlines that override bigger-picture projects.

Sure, client projects or delivery dates give you something concrete to work toward, but projects that could be big-big-big in terms of your growth as an artist tend to be neglected. Even client projects can find you flailing, if they're big and amorphous enough.

My artist-clients are often surprised by the clarity and focus they experience after we work together, and part of the challenge is to figure out how to sustain that sense of purpose, either through continued work with me or a group, or a system they can set up for themselves.

• Some people use twitter to DM a buddy to check in about a project throughout the day, or just tweet they're to-do list to the world at large.

• You could go for coffee or a beer with a set of friends for a regular check-in.

• You could post your progress on your blog, either by writing about it, or posting pics of a work as it goes from sketch to finished fabulous thing.

• You could join the work party at the Hopscotch Distillery.

So I'm wondering: do you have someone to check in with? And some systematic way to do it?