Fear of time.

I've been playing with the idea of hiring a VA.

Not because I need one right now.

I don't. And I won't be hiring one right now.

But because the idea of hiring a VA scares me.

That fear tells me -- ding, ding, ding! -- this is an idea worth exploring.

It's not the thought of handing over responsibility for certain things, trusting someone new.

It's about ... oh, why don't I let that particular monster speak for himself?

Monster talk.

monster: Who do you think you are, getting an assistant?!

What have you got to do that's so important?

Do you really think you'd use all that time to grow the business? You wouldn't know where to begin.

You just don't have that much in you. Freeing up that time would expose you.

Better to stay right where you are, with things arranged so you can handle them.

603 posts and counting.

me: Hmm. That's interesting.

Because, you know, I often hear something similar from you about writing, that I don't have enough in me.

And 99% of the time, once I sit down and get started, it turns out I have lots to say about any given topic.

You tell me I don't, but I do.

So I'm wondering if this issue is the same kind of thing -- assuming that I have nothing to give, when the record shows (603 blog posts and counting), that I usually do.

monster: Whatever. We're talking about a lot more time to fill. What do you think you're going to do?

Hmpf.

me: I don't know yet.

More time on the site, making it more welcoming and comfortable for people.

More time dreaming up new classes and making them happen.

More time giving free classes.

More time connecting with people.

monster: That's all pretty vague. I'll believe it when I see it.

What if you were right?

me: Well, what would happen if you were right? What if I couldn't fill the time? I could always let the VA go.

monster: Meh.

me: And what would happen if I were right?

What would happen if I were able to do so much more for myself and the people who hang out here -- there's something terrifying there, right?

monster: Yes.

me: It's the unknown?

monster: Yes ...

me: Okay. We're feeling nauseous now, which is a perversely good sign.

We know now that it means we're coming up on something important. Let's continue this conversation later, and bring in Future Me who knows what happens.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What about you?

Does the idea of having more time to do the thing you love -- does that scare you? Is there a way you can play around with it?