A loving wondering why.

I had more than one reason to sign up for the Shiva Nata Teacher Training.

One was to go deeper into the practice.

Another was that, when I asked my business what was missing, one answer was Dance of Shiva.

Huh?

I already used Dance of Shiva to brainstorm and problem-solve and unstick my work.

What it meant was:

Shiva Nata was missing from the work I do with the people who hang out here at smarts & culture Kindergarten Mind.

Ah ha.

I decided to make it part of A Day of Secret Play a few weeks ago and it supercharged our Play Date, no question about it.

Reluctance.

However, when Havi invited us to (only if we wanted) to stand on the stage at the Playground and teach a bit of Dance of Shiva to the class, I noticed that I was reluctant.

It wasn't just the fear of getting up in front of a group of people who'd been experiencing Havi's awesome training for the past three days.

It wasn't just the dread of people looking at me.

It was also, I realized, that I couldn't envision myself teaching people live in a workshop setting.

I knew I wanted to incorporate Shiva Nata into my work, and I knew that I could.

But not that way.

Why?

So I noticed that, and I knew I needed to ask why.

Not in frustration or discouragement, but a loving wondering why.

Why will I never give live workshops?

I suspect it would be exhausting to lead a face-to-face class for an hour or more.

The nearly-three-hour university classes I taught were exhausting.

But it's also true that at times they were exhilarating (though my students would probably be surprised to hear that).

Teaching at SMartCAMP was both energizing and exhausting. It was wonderful to see some people get so much out of it, and I'm still in touch with a few of the people from my small group.

Why will I never give live workshops?

It take a lot more effort to persuade people to come to a live event, any live event. I don't believe I have enough people right now who would feel excited enough and comfortable enough to come, to justify the effort and expense.

And how will I know when people will be ready to come and work with me in person? What are the signs?

But wait a minute.

I already had the idea that I might piggy-back a workshop onto something my people might already be attending, like a conference. Or collaborate with someone who has a bigger audience.

And what about that realization that came after Shiva-ing it up the other day - that what will bring me close to where I want to be is more live contact with my people.

So that assumption, that I can never give live workshops?

That's all it is, an assumption. It's not the truth.

Face-to-face can be magic.

At the same time I believe it's not in the cards, there are already parts of me that know that being face-to-face with my people can be magic.

I didn't really get what Seth was teaching until I had the chance to take a small group workshop with him in person.

I didn't really get how to challenge myself with Dance of Shiva until I took Havi's Shivanautical weekend training in North Carolina two years ago. And all her other live, in-person events I've been a part of - they've helped me leapfrog ahead in ways that I never imagined.

I know how much these experiences have shaped me and my business.

So useful to investigate those assumptions. And it's so hard to recognize assumptions for what they are.

That's something we're going to use in Why Not Now?, the small-group, online workshop that starts on September 26. I can't wait to see what we find out.*

And you?

Is there something that needs a loving wondering why?

*I've done barely anything to let people know about Why Not Now? and the beta class is nearly filled. So if it speaks to you, and you'd like to do it at the beta price, take a look.